It doesn’t matter!
A short conversational story
Boy: (on a call) “Hey! It took four years to reach you!”
Girl: “Why? I was always around”
Boy: (nervously) “I was gaining some courage to talk…”
Girl: “What!? Why was it so difficult?”
Boy: “Because I like you”
Girl: (surprised and shocked) Really! What do you mean by like?
Boy: I like your smile, your vibe, I always wanted to be around you!
Girl: “For the last four years, I can’t believe!”
Boy: (Starts narrating series of episodes from the last four years where they both were around, and she had not noticed him)
Girl: (flabbergasted) “seriously I can’t imagine this is real!”
Boy: “Let’s meet”
Girl: (hesitating) “this is just our first call”
Boy: How many calls do you need? I will call you every day so that we can meet soon
Girl: (blushing) Okay, will see
After couple of hours the same day.
Boy: (calls the girl) “Hey, wassup!”
Girl: “Hey! Are you multiplying your calls per day?”
Boy: “I am in your location, so thought of meeting you”
Girl: “Are you following me?
Boy: “I wish! It wouldn’t have taken four years to speak to you”
Girl: (sighing) “okay!”
Both meet and after exchanging pleasantries.
Boy: (trying to hold her hand) “I can’t believe, this is real, and you are next to me”
Girl: (with some awkwardness) “I can’t believe any of this is real”
Boy: “say something”
Girl: “I can’t speak if you keep holding my hand”
Boy: (leaves her hand) “I would have asked you to marry me if I would have spoken to you, four years back”
Girl: (not knowing what to say) “hmmm, what are you expecting from this?”
Boy: “You mean in our relationship? “
Girl: “Yes, if you are expecting a physical relationship, let’s stop now”
Boy: “No, it’s not like that. I have a lot of other offers for a physical relationship, with you it’s different”
Both walking on a sidewalk, not too many people around, just a couple of them around the corner.
It was a clear night with bright moon moving along….after talking for a while on common topics (just about time to leave).
Boy: (holds her hand and grabs her close for a hug, holding her tight), “says I really like you!”
Girl: (after 10 seconds, trying to loosen his grip) “it’s okay, you should leave now”
Boy: (ignoring what she says and pulling her even closer) “don’t stop yourself!”
Girl: (feeling his breadth closer to her neck, his racing heartbeat, trying to push him away) “please leave”
Boy: “You are not pushing me away hard enough to leave you!”
Girl: (Pushing him away harder) “I am! You should leave now”
Boy: (finally leaves her)
There was an awkward pause.
Girl: (sighing) “why did you do this?”
Boy: “I am sorry! I couldn’t stop myself”
Girl: “Does this mean anything to you?”
Boy: “I don’t think too much, life is too short. But I promise I won’t do this again”
Boy: (disappointed) “I’ll leave now goodbye”
Girl: (standing still, trying to stop all the rushing thoughts in her mind)
Boy: (walking away few steps to leave, turns back) “I am sorry again, let it go, it doesn’t matter!”
After a week.
Boy: (on a call) “Hey!”
Girl: “Hi! how are you”
Boy: “Not good I guess”
Girl: “I thought you wouldn’t call”
Boy: “Why wouldn’t I? Were you waiting for my call”
Girl: “No! I didn’t say that”
Boy: “can we meet?”
Girl: “No!”
Boy: “Why? I’ll keep my promise, we can meet at a subway joint”
Girl: “I am still struggling to recover myself from our last meet”
Boy: “Give me another chance to explain myself”
Girl: “No, I don’t think there is an explanation. I don’t even know you and what you did last time was unacceptable”
Boy: (apologetic voice) “Listen, I know I pushed myself on you and I am sorry about that, but it was just all the tied-up emotions from the last four years that led me to do that, every failed attempt to reach you and see you drifting away, that moment when I held you, I didn’t want to let that go”
Girl: (still mad) “this doesn’t justify your action”
Boy: “I agree, don’t look at the action just look at the emotions and I promise I would never do that again”
Girl: “I don’t see a reason to meet, there is no future, and I don’t want your emotions to be hurt again, just think we didn’t meet at all”
Boy: “I don’t expect anything from you, I don’t want to build a future with you. Every time I used to see your smiling face, all I wished was one day I could be the reason for that smile.
Girl: I don’t need you to smile”
Boy: “I know you don’t, but I need this. I have seen you smiling and helping people around in office, can I not be just another person standing in the corner”
Girl: “See, every person expects something in return and now that I know your feelings, you won’t be just another person. I am in no position to give you anything in return”
Boy: “A smile, a cup of coffee, just some random talking is all I ask, and I can give it in writing. Don’t push me away without knowing me. Once you know me if you think, we can’t be friends then perhaps I will not call you again”
Girl: hmmmm
Boy: “So, can we meet this Saturday?”
Girl: (unsure to say yes or no) “okay, let see”
They meet on Saturday evening at a nearby place.
Boy: “Hi, you look beautiful”
Girl: “Thank you, but no thank you”
Boy: (smiling) “okay”
Girl: “Why are you smiling?”
Boy: “It was so difficult to convince you”
Girl: “Why are you doing this?”
Boy: “Okay, how do I explain it to you, the only person you can’t lie is your own self, when I first saw you in office at your desk, you appeared just like any ordinary girl.”
“Then when I saw you at an event, your smile was the highlight for me, it was like it was illuminating the whole room.”
“Then I started looking at you every day, would wait for hours for your meeting to get over, just for a glance. This continued for a long time.”
“Then after a while you moved to another location, and I couldn’t see you. I started missing you. That’s when I realized how I feel about you. I questioned myself a lot, why the hell do I really miss you, we have not met, not spoken, nothing. And I don’t have an answer yet.”
“Last time when finally, you were there, my bottled-up emotions just reacted insanely.”
Girl: “So, what happens now”
Boy: “whatever you say”
Girl: “You know I am married”
Boy: “I know”
Girl: “You’ve met me at a stage where I can’t really do anything about it”
Boy: “I know, I don’t want you to do anything”
Girl: “I don’t want you to keep holding to these feelings and bottle up your emotions. This can’t be love”
Boy: “You can’t control how I feel about you, you can leave that to me. Listen, all I need is to make you smile. It could be just 30 minutes in a year.”
Girl: (smiling)
Boy: “yeah, that’s what I need, you can call it whatever you want, it doesn’t matter”
This time, they sat for a while to a sunsetting view, chatted for a while, shook hands and departed, perhaps it was a beginning to a new friendship!
Sometimes love doesn’t really need any future or action. It really doesn’t matter!
